So, it would seem that I've skipped another month - November. It wasn't really my best month, anyway. It started out with a pretty significant health scare for me. I was hospitalized for 4 days with hypertension. And right after I got out of the hospital with my 3 new daily meds, I learned that a friend had committed suicide.
Both events took me by complete surprise, and the combination took me to a pretty dark place for awhile. I'm still getting used to the extra pills, and I'm really afraid that my blood pressure will spike up again and I'll have a stroke. I've never had high blood pressure before, other than during pregnancy (which I am not currently experiencing) so this is a new issue for me. Yay.
And then Phil. He was a friend of a friend, and I was just getting to know him. Super nice guy, really smart, talented musician. Phil's best friend, who was like his brother, is like family to me. I've spent many holidays with them, dining and celebrating, talking and laughing.
With suicides, conversations seem to go 'well, he seemed happy' or 'so many people loved him, how could he do this?' which in Phil's case were both applicable. Having battled depression for many years, I understand suicide inasmuch as I've experienced what they call "suicidal thoughts." It isn't so much a desire to die as a longing for peace, a rest from the constant barrage of awfulness in your mind. I don't begrudge Phil for what he did, but my heart breaks for those he left behind.
So in the midst of all this, hospital stays and funerals, my mind couldn't have been further from the project at work. And now, as we plan for the holidays, we're also looking ahead to next year. Barring any proof that the Mayans were right all along, this ball needs to get rolling again.
There have been some developments - we are officially addressing the Farm and the Market as separate projects now (whereas before, it has always been one, the Farm & Market). Joe and I are assigned to the Market, which will hopefully be a full-fledged Jenks Farmers Market next spring. And the farm is being managed by my Dad and a young man named Kyle who used to have his own farm and has a ton of ideas for ours.
Right now, most of the work is on spreadsheets, as we prepare our budgets for 2013. Once we have our next year's plan in place, I'll be able to go into more detail. But today, my brain is still trying to claw its way back from the serious rattling it has recently taken. I'm pretty unfocused these days, and the holidays being around the corner are no help. So I'm going to spend some time with my family, pick myself up, and get going again next year.
